I Never Have Had Much a Need For Armadillo Spleen

I have had a few things on my mind for the last few days.

While sitting at Sinclair's the other day I noticed something odd on the Keno TV screen. The number generator was using the display of animated popcorn popping. This seemed to be rather bland, but suitable- or so I thought. On the bottom of the screen, where the kernels departed their number hording bed, I noticed the kernels were popping out of already popped kernels. This, I believe, is ridiculous. The popcorn should be leaping away from a super-heated hotbed of un-popped kernels. The newly elected Bart Stupak will be hearing about this I'll have you know.
I tried to send a text message the other day on a rotary phone the other day. I wanted to tell a friend that my phone was broken and the old rotary phone was all that was available. I stood there in that phone both for what seemed like hours since it seemed as though every letter that I needed to communicate my message with were third of fourth letter for their corresponding numbers. Damn you f, l, o, r, s, and z!
There is one hell of a lot of difference in the meaning of the words 'all you can eat', and 'eat all you can'.

This dog is wrong. As they say on the 4chan- "kill it with fire!".

I never have had thoughts about kissing my ceiling. It turns out that there is a photographer out there that not only enjoys this sort of thing, but is a bit voyeuristic about it. Here are people kissing the ceiling. Quite interesting.

This house is up for sale in New Zealand. It is like a hip time capsule of lounges and bars. Bring your own console stereo and wellingtons.

There is a guy with a problem. He is broke and he owes the bank a few hundred pounds. So he offers them a drawing if a spider. Hillarity ensues.