Screw You WWE

I would watch wrestling if I was able to see stunts like this!

(Enter Non Sequitur Here)

Things are rather quiet around the house today. The cat that I don't own doesn't seem to be eating, while this alarms me to some extent, this lack of consumption has been saving me a bundle on cat litter. While I am thinking of it, I have also noticed that this phantom cat does not seem to shed much, although since the cat has been de-clawed, something else must be tearing up the furniture. Maybe I should see a doctor about sleep walking. Sleep walking would also explain some of the texts in my sent fold on the phone. Annoying texts sent to 5 to 10 people at a time. Yay for Mr. Calvin,his mythical cat, and his irritating texting habits.

I can claim that I have a bit of a collection of canned meats. I enjoy two cans of aproduct trying one can and saving the other. I save the cans because I love reading the ingredients. One of the most common ingredients is mechanically separated chicken.

How long does mayo last? What about ketchup or peanut butter? An interesting interpretation of the periodic table of elements. If you are wondering about my own refrigerator's contents just multiply times by 3 or 4.

Very interesting embroidery.

By clicking here you will get to see what one gets when one combines a puddle, cold weather, a shrub, and automobile traffic.

How To Wear Pants. A guide to proper pants technique.

Compubeaver is a computer casemod created by the artist that reminds us how to wear pants.

The Apache Dance. Creative, beautiful, strangely disturbing.


And performed in Paris...

Blogging With Gestures Is Ineffective

Mackinac Island has been rather cold lately, while it is not alone with chilly temperatures, it may be alone in the 'view at work' category. The boss and I caught these sun dogs a few mornings ago and hoped that the phone would suffice for sun dog archiving. It seemed to do the job alright. It sunk in a few days later that this was the first time that I has observed this phenomenon. Pretty cool.
While the sun was making dogs it was also making ice. The cold days and nights has produced some nice ice between St. Ignace and Mackinac Island. It may be 8 inches thick already. Quite a few people are making trips over to the Driftwood for a change in bar scenery.

I bought a can of Campbell's Hearty Chili the other day from Doud's. I chose 'Roadhouse' flavor and was rather disappointed that Patrick Swayze and Sam Elliot did not punch me in the face when I opened the can. Screw the can of peanuts snake, can of Roadhouse fists would kick your ass! POW!

Colbert! I Swear I'll Get You For This!

On January 11, 2009, I posted an image of modification that I made to the label from the box of Land O Lakes butter. This is an old joke that I learned from an uncle of mine when I was a kid. The joke has only come up a few times in those 15 or 20 years, reenacted by my father and I once about 10 years ago and is now adorning the fireplace mantle. I have always thought that this gag was hilarious and one kept for special occasions.
On January 14, 2009 Tim Meadows and Stephen Colbert had their own kind of fun with this joke. Coincidence? I don't think so. Someone IS reading this blog! Hooray for enthusiasts of stupid jokes such as myself and obviously Mr. Colbert.
You can watch the clip here.


This is a medical description of what not to do with concrete and your bowels.

Sometime last year Greenpeace had an election asking the internet community to name a whale that they would follow and save from Japanese whalers. The contenders were,Mister Splashy Pants, Talei, Aiko, Libertad, Aurora, and Kaimana among others. Mr. Spalshy Pants was a write in name. Guess which name won. Mr. Splashy Pants for the win! Now PETA has followed suit with an equal amount of WTF with this bold concept. They want to rename fish 'Sea Kittens'.

I challenge you to make this penis not look like a penis. A fun Paint, PhotoShop competition. Hilarious results!

Do you need a new Advanced Bio-Photon Analyzer? How about a Water Vortex Magnetizer? This company sells these cool products and more. They will take your money because you may be desperate and gullible. Think about the time machine in Napoleon Dynamite and very sick or old people. So much bull shit. I wish I found this as funny as I should.

Art. Like Johannes Vermeer, but modern and oddly original.

Bacon flavored rolling papers!

A great collection of random photos. NSFW, but beautiful.

During WWI experiments with ships constructed with concrete were made. They were failures, but one or two still exist!

True story of a woman who unknowingly ate PEOPLE! PEEE OOO PPPLLLEE!

Completely useless super powers. Great!

"I can't figure out why I can't find a tenant." Duh. Craigslist brilliance!

Anti-Freeze Flavored Chocolate Is Not Good For Dogs.

This morning, it was not as cold as I had expected it would be. It was about 10f at 8 o'clock and slowly worked its way down to 5f. The shoreline had quite a few visitors as well. I counted 20 swans, six otters, and a golden eagle. All at once. Later in the afternoon, the boss was surprised by the little guy on the left. He wandered around looking and sniffing. None of this is normal. Six swans? OK. Two or three otters? OK. A golden eagle? Nope. Make it a bald eagle and it would be normal. A fox downtown? No way!
Oh yeah- I took a ride around to British Landing to check out the wind damage to the ice and an owl flew over my head. Damned strange for one day.

I learned how ducks can swim around in cold water today. I'll be damned. I think I will have surgeons rearrange my veins and arteries in a way similar to a duck's.

Thanks to superdonal from b3ta for this commercial for people. Used people for furniture that want to redecorate.


This guy isn't racist or anything, but...

Fun inventions from the post WWII golden age of having to much time on one's hand since the wife was busy in the kitchen raising the kids, cooking, and being attractive.

Fun rug designs.

MONKEYS ON BICYCLES!!!!! FOR THE WIN!!!!


Dare devils wearing contraptions called wing suits. This is what I would be inclined to call base jumping gone insane. The coolest part shows a guy flying next to a cliff side road. The worst part is the littering. Can you spot the littering litter bugs boys and girls?

Icky clouds.

Did you know that there was an activity called 'barrel parking'? Did you know that you could have Koreans battling Japanese for barrel parking supremacy?

What Is The Butter Maiden Hiding?

It turns out that there is a bit of a secret that the Land 'O Lakes maiden is willing to share. What could it possibly be?



Could it be that she has great boobies? Click on the photos to find out for sure.

I Was Remembering A Time When Trucker Hats Were Just Called Hats

I was thinking today about my MP3 player as one tends to do these days. More specifically, I was thinking about MP3 player nomenclature. MP3 player is annoying to say- especially to the 'what's this computer thing' set. While using the term iPod works for some universally and works splendidly for owners of iPods it does not work well for me at all. I use a brilliant little machine built by Toshiba. I certainly can't go around referring to my Gigabeat- now can I? I may be asking for the impossible.
"Turn down that walkman!" Is something said by ignored parents in the '80s and '90s. This is, of course, unfortunate for my cause. While pops said walkman, there was a thing called a Walkman. (For use only by males and used with dire and explosion related trauma when used by women.) Everyone had one- some with headphones that featured silver head bands and orange foam ear pads. Times have changed and we are left without an viable MP3 player produced by Sony. This void has been filled by the iPod. The thing is, I don't know anyone that refers to Diamond Rio et. al. as an iPod. (They know that the Apple fanboys will kick their asses.) They say 'MP3 player'. Awkwardly. You can see their eyes shift just ever so slightly. This is unacceptable for a segment of our society that has not- or has and will never again purchase an iPod.
I can't say that I have any solution to this problem. I will say, when speaking to the 'mp- what?!?' crowd, I like radio shows on my radio. Translation- I like podcasts on my Toshiba Gigabeat 20gb MP3 player.

This would be great for lazies who like popcorn made on the stove.


Some photos taken early Christmas morning in downtown London that give the impression of life after us.

More stupid Bento! Woo! Food made to look like stuff! Yay!

Hair from the '80s courtesy of the Chicago Tribune. Check out Ira Glass from 'This American Life'.

Throw a theme party. A theme party that may scar your daughter and all of her friends ensuring that she never has any more friends until she leaves for college.

1.Offensive!
2.Even more so!

This woman, in more ways than one, reminds me of a girl that used to throw rocks at my window.


Honky Sausages! YouTube 'em! Stupid stupid stupid!